Slow motion suicide.

http://thecontentfarm.tumblr.com/post/2975433444/how-to-sob-uncontrollably

#if you want my opinion(I have no idea why you would want mine), since I have a normal inclination to preach for free and not give two hoots about not practising it, here it is-don't take 12 C. you know, the bus, from saligramam to mylapore. Its meant for a different purpose, for transporting broken axles, loose seats and dust and filth across arcot road, venkat narayana road and rk mutt road. take the train.

The best part about being a loser is, nobody really cares, and I know this for a fact.

#Every place is expensive. I always thought eating out would turn out to be an expensive affair, but these days you have to sell your organs if you want to have a sumptuous lunch in a decent restaurant. also, if you want to buy vegetables or the occasional fruit, rice, pulses, anything that you might require to survive. So, we are being forced on a path of sainthood, hence, inflation is for the greater good of the masses.

You can be smart and successful, or you can be either. But if you are neither, you are as good as the next stray animal on the streets.

#i have never been a fan of those big fancy eat outs and I settled for a krishna sweets snack of poli. It was Rs 15 a week back, and they changed it to Rs 20 right in front of my eyes, even as lord krishna on a photo was winking mischievously. not at me, but at the indian population in general. more leelai would follow I suppose. Thankfully the poli was the same size, as opposed to saravana bavan, where dosai is being served with magnifying glasses these days.

hopes, more often than not, are merely false promises for some.

Ragi malt is excellent with heritage rather than arokya, and I don't know how my dead tongue could even discern the change. Probably because I drank it with curdled milk, or maybe I diluted one part of milk with 15 parts of corporation water. The next best thing to condensed milk is condensed milk. no contest. The next best thing to pooshnika verkadalai kootu is only that.

Every second of indulging in negativity is glorious. That is the only thing some are capable of.

The mind wanders in search of peace and happiness, and finds it in the most loveliest of the places. I was exhausted from all the travelling throughout the day, that when I reached thanjavur in the evening with a friend, I was completely drained of all feelings in the limbs. It is not an ordinary feeling to be dazed by something just by looking at it. At the periya koil, it is different-the temple looks at you, and intimidates you into submitting to its ferocity. I have always meaninglessly traveled for far too long now, in search of hope. I apparently have taken a metaphor far too seriously, to journey far and wide to find hope. I haven't yet. Neither hope, nor meaning.

Only the grand vestiges of an architectural marvel, which is yet to be surpassed in terms of the scale of the feat.

HR responses rejecting my application. A hypothetical response I always intended to send.

Dear Kathy,

I was shocked by your apology yesterday. You had sent me an email about how you were sorry and had decided to pursue other candidates for the janitorial engineer position. I am horrifed not by the rejection, but by how sad you had felt on hearing such a disheartening news-that a stranger who lives in a remote corner of the world with possible sociopathic inclinations could be rejected. I stood up after reading this letter, and started to cry. I have never cried in my life before, not even when I could not find my nail cutter. I am yet to understand how you could come to terms with the harsh terms of rejection offered to me, you poor thing.

I hope you have the support of your loving family and that with time, you will eventually be able to move on. My sincere thanks, as sincere as yours, for the faith you place in my abilities to wish me luck in my future endeavors. I am truly blessed for such noble people amidst; you have shown me that there is reward for faith in these testing times. I am sure I would have plenty of luck in my next opportunity, because of the very fact that you have wished it.

ps: In the absence of tears now,I am sending a bit of my blood sample to show you how much I care. I took the liberty to look up your address from your office directory. god bless.

there was an email from mathworks for some seminar i had registered for. The next day, i received an email thanking me for that. A response.

Dear priya at mathworks,

I am so glad by your heartfelt gesture to sincerely send me an email about how you appreciate my appreciation of your appreciative services, and I really appreciate this. I have to say, I have been getting up every single day in the hope of seeing an email from mathworks and their pious irreverence in thanking people for using their products. In fact, I just took a snapshot of the mail, and I have framed it on my wall just so that i get up every morning to see this mail that has made my life worth living.

However, in the last few days, I had registered for a lot of seminars, but I had got but one email only. I was depressed to the point that I had to seek psychiatric counsel and a prescription of anti-depressants to get through this tough phase of my life. I am still seeing nightmares of not seeing your mails. I would even tell my girl friend that I was more interested in making love to this email than to her. I had abandoned my life's goal of doing something meaningful when I realized that I would not be getting any more mails. I am sitting here, kneeling before the mathworks website, and pleading for the site to have mercy upon this poor soul, and send the thank you emails that I truly deserve.

Once again, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, liver, pancreas, small intestine...

I have used an american name, because Indian Hr's don't bother sending emails, as I found out the hard way.

Cheers.

What happens in walajah...

If you have never been on a bharathi velu bus service, you have wasted your pursuit of scientific inquiry(if you had one of those, unlike me). You will be amazed by this bus-the journey, the prelude, the epilogue, the prologue, and whatever other logs you might know of. The magical art of transforming a finite space to hold infinite amount of human resources is breathtaking. I was waiting to board the bus, or at least get the thundu through one of the windows, but I was too slow. I was bested by someone who was definitely the flash gordon of walajah. He had dexterously slipped his hand underneath and got away with thundu placement.

Lesson #1

Don't wait for the bus to empty. It is a mathematical impossibility. You are being deceived by what appears to be an illusion of a constant stream of finite passengers, but your eyes will play tricks on you. You will wait there, you will wait till every ounce of your energy is expended and you are left to puff and pant and finally faint in the bus stand hoping for a free paneer soda. Don't wait. Get inside the instant someone else tries to do. You have to follow the rebel, and not be an idiot pacifist. Fight on the first step, shout on the second because on the other side of the step waits glory, and probably some space to stand. I waited. Rookie mistake. I waited for two villages to alight, and the bus was full again. I was left to ponder. Philosophy and science had abandoned me again.

Lesson #2

Try to maximize your circumference. If you fail to do this, by the commencement of the ride, you will have enough space only to catch the last breath of your life. If you want to get down in the middle and the end point is not the destination, abort your mission.

you. are. not. getting. down. Your resistance will be crushed.

Lesson #3

never ever wear a veshti on this bus. I was praying to the good lord not for a life of vim and vitality, but only that my veshti doesn't slip away in the human mass, because it is the mathematical equivalent of a black hole. It will never be found. Neither will my dignity. Don't ask what I was doing in a veshti in arakkonam.

As I said before, What happens in walajah stays in walajah.

I am smitten. There is a reason why I must live. I have found hope. Someone just hit a F5 on my life. All this because of my sundari. She is the most gorgeous thing in the known universe. She is everything that a man can ever want, and at 18 speeds, more than what a man can want(though why one would need 18 speeds in madras will remain a mystery). My new bicycle is going to be the object of gush in this post. I am really excited even as I type this, because I think this is what is like being on a high. Ah, sundari, my reason to live. to love. A source of happiness in an otherwise decadent life(that's the obligatory disturbed view of the mentally unstable unemployed person).

உள்ளத்திலே லேகரு வங்கொண்ட போதினில்

ஓங்கி யாடித் திடுவான்- நெஞ்சில்

கள்ளத்தைக் கொண்டொரு வார்த்தைசொன் நாலங்கு

காரி யுமிழ்ந்திடு வான்...

(kannan paatu, mahakavi)