life and times of an(a?) entry level resume

dear sir,

i know not who you are. but you seem to be observing me with the same concentration as you would when you are in a urinal, staring at the flush knob. but you have to concentrate more than this when you do that, or you might end up wetting your front. that is not admirable, for someone so high up in the corporate playground, is it? 

i know you wouldn't give two seconds for me, and your trash can would listen to my profile, and learn about my projects and my experiences. but its unfortunate that the corporate culture relegates trash cans to not take decisions, but only...collect trash. from the minute you receive me via email to the minute you send that automated email to reject me, it takes what? two minutes? i am so glad that i could get that time. also, why am  i always ending up in your spam folder? is that a regular detour to the inbox? but i am not selling Viagra, all i am trying to do is sell a poor cow, desperate to find a job. some might call that skilled work prostitution. but i call it, symbiosis.

thanks anyway, dear spam folder, for listening to my woes. wait, you cant talk back, or you would sympathize too. 


most often than not, you will be surprised that i am not a bag of lies or an account of exaggeration, concealing a desire to make ridiculous amounts of money. but, how would i know the value of money, a 60 gsm paper is all i need. but these living things called people, they always seem to want more-more money, more cars, more children, more misery, more pain, more hardwork...how do i know this, you ask me. i am one of the reasons why they have what they have. 
but we are digressing. i was thanking you for the time you allot for me. and my many brothers. or sisters. it really doesnt matter, we are not too concerned about sex unlike you, with all your hormones, abnormalities and prejudices about race, religion, sexual orientation and political affiliations! the last one is my favorite. how can you ever be so foolishly blinded inasmuch you start to believe politicians!


i am often told that i do not meet the requirement criteria-match with the required skill set.if you want a fully customisable engineer to perfectly match your requirements, you can order one in one of the universities, and tell them to create prototypes just in case he does not perform well enough. in case you haven't noticed, an entry level engineer does not technically have anything called skills. he is naive. and clueless. but his mind is fertile. as soon as he starts to type me, i make him understand that he has nothing to market himself with. i try to teach him that he has to learn more and be different than others. but isnt that what he is? isnt that what he would do?

but why do you ask people to even submit me, and my many many brothers? i wouldn't be surprised, if some day, we would all join forces and plot and scheme to throw you out. you are probably thinking, this is an empty threat. but sir, think again. i am sure, you would have noticed, its only because someone noticed your good friend, one of our brothers-your resume, that you are now here.

but not for long, and that is how they play the game sir...