"always look on the bright side of life"-eric idle

a walk in the park is difficult these days. i am sure that the phrase, "a walk in the park" would be non existent in the future, along with parks, walks, and the walkers. to top it all, there is the weather, which builds up huge amounts of inertia on top of the already existing sloth, totally gluing us to the beds, forcing us to slow things down, and making us rush to the nearest source of warmth.

i am blinded by madness for money and material fulfillment, i cannot break out of it, nor am i happy about the gaudy pleasures; unwillingly i succumb to it in spite of the realization that it is only an exercise in futility. it is very much like reading philosophy-at the end, you understand that you have to understand these things not by reading but by living, defeating the entire purpose of reading philosophy!

-a few days back, i happened to walk to target, a nearby store to get myself a winter hat(a beanie). i had been wanting one for more than two months, and i had grown very fond of it. it snugly wraps itself around my head, and gives me so much warmth that you would find when someone close to you hugs you for comfort! it was raining, and cold, the temperature hovering somewhere around 8 C. i found quite a few expensive ones, but one particular beanie that was not so expensive called out to me! i was thrilled as soon as i bought that, that i celebrated a $3 beanie with a $1.65 coffee!

madness lurks everywhere. i always see that in the dustbins and the alleys. i am always scared that there would be those lurkers in those places, secretly hiding and stalking you, pouncing at the opportune moment to steal just about everything we have. we seem to be losing faith, never trusting anyone, not even the closest people

-as i was walking back from target, i was being followed by two people. or, i assumed they were following me, because they had worn out coats on them, had unkempt beards, and were scruffy from a distance. suddenly, one of them yelled out to me. i couldn't get what he said, because we were yards apart. suddenly, their pace quickened, and i started to walk fast. they were very close, and the guy yelled again-hey buddy, what's the time, we got to catch the bus!

i am reminded of a time when life was really simple. there were hardly anyone bothering me with mails and memos, reminding me a million times that i have to do so much to be someone in someplace to make sure i died with satisfaction, forgetting everything around me. sure enough, they seem to have gotten their way, and i have forgotten mine, and i slowly tug along as the currents carry me, unaware of the beautiful lands that it takes me to, but constantly worried about the difficulties on the way, hoping that the day i reach the destination, i would be happy. and what is that destination? nothing.

these days, i dream a lot about a terrace and a radio, playing a beautiful song. dont ask me what the song is, it just keeps changing, but i am euphoric just thinking of that. some miracle, this mind of ours-we can cheer ourselves up by just dreaming!

so, what are you thankful for?

aravindh, he fixed my glasses in such an ingenious way, that it is almost as good as not broken at all!

eecha-ride to cedar point, and the great times we had with kumaresan(thanks to him too) over discrete event classes!

arun sridar, who had to endure my irritating habit of getting early and the sounds from knocking around all the dishes in his house, to eat a bowl of cereals. he put a roof over my head when i first got here. oh, he also got me hooked to the greatest comedy show on earth-the coupling.

leela aunty and murthy uncle. hosts during the florida trip. superb marshmallow ice cream, she still tells me in her mails that  i should be doing something that i am not doing-study hard.

shuttle rackets, volleyballs, table tennis paddles and my old reebok shoes which have somehow managed to withstand the torture i have put them through.

my ipod. first generation. the best present ever, thanks to cheechu.

rohit, iyyappa, and krishna-badminton and universal truth!

saami, ravi, panch, arjun and the whole lot; for the many birthday celebrations and fun times.

lollu sabha, frasier, 30 rock, and many more.

cell phones, orkut, facebook, gmail.

a fujifilm s1500 & a bicycle dream.

spring and summer 09.

statistics.

the kassandroz forum, and the whole gang for keeping my spirits up. cheers boys!

shankar, gopal, dinesh,and the thousands of miles on the road.

the omni potent's designs for my life, and the never ending source of inspiration from somewhere within when i am totally lost.

life and times of an(a?) entry level resume

dear sir,

i know not who you are. but you seem to be observing me with the same concentration as you would when you are in a urinal, staring at the flush knob. but you have to concentrate more than this when you do that, or you might end up wetting your front. that is not admirable, for someone so high up in the corporate playground, is it? 

i know you wouldn't give two seconds for me, and your trash can would listen to my profile, and learn about my projects and my experiences. but its unfortunate that the corporate culture relegates trash cans to not take decisions, but only...collect trash. from the minute you receive me via email to the minute you send that automated email to reject me, it takes what? two minutes? i am so glad that i could get that time. also, why am  i always ending up in your spam folder? is that a regular detour to the inbox? but i am not selling Viagra, all i am trying to do is sell a poor cow, desperate to find a job. some might call that skilled work prostitution. but i call it, symbiosis.

thanks anyway, dear spam folder, for listening to my woes. wait, you cant talk back, or you would sympathize too. 


most often than not, you will be surprised that i am not a bag of lies or an account of exaggeration, concealing a desire to make ridiculous amounts of money. but, how would i know the value of money, a 60 gsm paper is all i need. but these living things called people, they always seem to want more-more money, more cars, more children, more misery, more pain, more hardwork...how do i know this, you ask me. i am one of the reasons why they have what they have. 
but we are digressing. i was thanking you for the time you allot for me. and my many brothers. or sisters. it really doesnt matter, we are not too concerned about sex unlike you, with all your hormones, abnormalities and prejudices about race, religion, sexual orientation and political affiliations! the last one is my favorite. how can you ever be so foolishly blinded inasmuch you start to believe politicians!


i am often told that i do not meet the requirement criteria-match with the required skill set.if you want a fully customisable engineer to perfectly match your requirements, you can order one in one of the universities, and tell them to create prototypes just in case he does not perform well enough. in case you haven't noticed, an entry level engineer does not technically have anything called skills. he is naive. and clueless. but his mind is fertile. as soon as he starts to type me, i make him understand that he has nothing to market himself with. i try to teach him that he has to learn more and be different than others. but isnt that what he is? isnt that what he would do?

but why do you ask people to even submit me, and my many many brothers? i wouldn't be surprised, if some day, we would all join forces and plot and scheme to throw you out. you are probably thinking, this is an empty threat. but sir, think again. i am sure, you would have noticed, its only because someone noticed your good friend, one of our brothers-your resume, that you are now here.

but not for long, and that is how they play the game sir...

10 observations for the month

1. the bus does not come when you keep looking at your watch, rice does not cook when you keep staring at the microwave, plates do not clean themselves by looking at the kitchen sink, problems do not get solved by sitting idle and whiling away your time.

2. the most sought after thing is opinion, but never trust opinions. "this movie is awesome" equals the movie blows, sucks, and i paid the terrible price of sitting through it on top of shelling out money, you have to too. "the movie blows" equals its for high brows who think it falls on them to make this place a better world by watching such movies.

3.money comes and goes, they say. it does not come, but yes it does go. so why do they say, it comes and goes? because it comes for all other people, goes for you.

corollary: you will get money, when you need it the least.

corollary to corollary: you will get those things that you dont want, but never get the ones that you need badly.

4. the winter winds are always early, severe, biting and 'this winter is always much more severe than the previous one.

5. problems are always easy in the classroom. its only the exams, they assume the form of  "top 10 mathematical problems that have perplexed the greatest minds of the planet". solutions are always wrong, but when a professor gets it wrong, it doesnt mean he is wrong. it means, there is more than one solution to the problem.

6. everything goes right until the professor steps into the lab. he is the initiator of the domino effect, the chaos theory. and he is the butterfly which causes that hurricane, but he is also the hurricane.

7. not all the people in the planet are entitled to luxuries. not all people are entitled to live a peaceful and a prosperous life.  not all people are entitled to lead a decent life. not all people are entitled to a two-room dwelling in a poor suburb. a 10*4 box in a slum in mumbai. space in the kolkata railway station. you see where i am going with this?

8. appetite is inversely proportional to the amount of money you have. if you are poor, chances are, you eat like a hungry hog, gobbling up anything that comes your way,run around for money. more money means, you are likely to eat slim, stay slim and run around for 'feeling good' .

9. the universe is a strange place, but the college is not. there are those noisy undergrads, noisy parties, noisy neighbors, noisy libraries, noisy lounges, noisy gymnasiums, and you, with that noisy brain.

10. the most important thing in life, is not success, not satisfaction, not peace. its only a little smile on your face, the only crease that is acceptable at large in public, the only sign of acknowledging that everything that is happening is just one big joke, and a very simple solution to life's complicated and unanswerable questions.

reflex

observation 1:

irritating jerk. 

by this, i do not mean the clumsy friend, who tries to get on your nerves inspite of himself. no, i am talking about the physics of the human body. just when you are about to cross the road, the mind plays a very clever game-the car is a good 75 metres away, and at the speed of 40km/hour, roughly 11 m/s, you assume that you have 7 seconds to cross the road. you dont exactly do the math standing in the middle of the road, or you would end up on the non-existent cow-catcher of the car, wondering why that happened when suddenly you see St. Peter at the pearly gates.

no, its impulsive. binary. cross, or dont. 1 or 0. hit, or miss. and your foot responds. but in a different way. can and cannot.or can. or cannot. 1 and -1.or 1, or -1. if only we could understand more of the human body.

observation 2:

genuine jockey?

you see a person jockeying, because the current queue is too long. the other one is short. what do you do? think? hardly. lets weigh the possibilities. the other line is short, so the only criteria is service time. say the people on the shorter queue are chatty-they start talking about their wedding plans to an equally avid listener on the other side of the counter...

what if it is not? what if they live by the value code and finish on time? the worst part, what if they finish early? arent you stranded on this queue for a much longer time than the person who just happily got served and is leaving home early to watch india kill pakistan in the final one day?

again, 1 and 0. i should probably read on involuntary actions.

(*i am sure you are aware, that jockey is, not the next best thing to being naked, but in this case, switching queues. it makes the modeling of stochastic systems even more complex, apparently.)

observation 3:

the bus conundrum

ever been on a bus ride to nowhere even though you had an idea that you should not have gotten on the bus? i lose myself very easily. because, i always take the wrong bus. every time i feel like asking the driver/conductor, i am afraid that he would snap-as much civility we expect from civil servants, they are not readily dispensed with. just at the cusp of getting in, i become aware. ok, i am definitely going to arumbakkam instead of kodambakkam today. impulse. zero this time; maybe one next time!