Journal of a varumayin niram sigappu graduate

no, just another unemployed person's mindless ranting.

"so, gautham, why have you come back?"

catch-22's for now:

# I want to read papers to learn about the news in parts of the world, but news item scares me with all the talk of global recession and nonsense, so i don't want to read papers.

# i don't have experience because i don't have a job, and i don't have a job because i don't have experience. wow, huh?

Imagine my consternation when people asked me to write and explain things that I had no idea about; or that which I read hundreds of years ago, when there were only dial up connections in this world, the pre-facebook era. The person sitting in front of me was asking me questions about 2-dof systems, and there i was, in a different land where anna kournikova and michelle pfeiffer had magically transformed my elementary dynamics knowledge into their own selves in picture format. As it is, education has completely escaped my mind to be replaced by all four seasons of blackadder and the first two of the thin blue line.

Do you know something about boundary elements?

No.

So, what do you think they are? any guesses?

Are you deaf? or mad?

Interestingly, there is a 'no breeding' alarm going on in my mind these days, becoming stronger with every passing day. All we have to do is look at ourselves in the mirror everyday, and ask 'is perpetuating something like this meaningful?' I am not sure if its because of my brain playing games with me or its par for the course at this age for any fellow with weird ideas due to reading a lot of tragic nonsense. I happened to watch chandni bar, in which madhur bhandarkar seamlessly extrapolates a person's life tragedy to more tragedy to a point when the people in the theater go out to buy extra strength cyanide pills. Movies, for me, are a way to relax, not to think about the woes in the world. I would do that sitting in my house. Also, don't read orhan pamuk, or barry unsworth. They were the reasons why god created the word 'suicide'.

I am going to admit to doing something that I would never would have done otherwise, if it hadn't been for my friend's father's persuasion. I actually lit a 'nei dheepam' in a temple! Before you all jump to conclusions and picture me in a garb with a pattai and sandhanam all over my body, parading myself semi-naked in a temple chanting some slokas while thinking about how hot the floor is, let me assure you, it was a chance happening. You would not believe it, and I am a strong advocate of skepticism, so I would ask you all not to believe it. Anyway, the lamp, the wick, and the ghee. I learnt three things:

# skepticism has no place inside a temple. If you are a skeptic, don't go inside one.

# Lighting the lamp is embarassing but even more embarassing is being told by a very sweet lady to dip the wick in the ghee and light it again for better combustible property-I felt like an idiot, six and a half years of engineering education and I didn't know this.

# Now, I had half a mind to abandon the temple visit, in view of my increasing mental instability, but it felt nice-NOT the temple, but the trip to the temple. The chennai-bangalore highway is very impressive. (for some people's information, this is the govindha wadi temple in agaram, near kanchipuram, dedicated to lord dakshina moorthy, someone who has abandoned me ever since i started learning my alphabets and got hit on the head mistaking hindi for english. that's where it all started. *sigh*)

Strong warning: Anyone who is going to call me religious, from now on, will be made to sit with me for one full day while I explain the pros and cons of playing rail road tycoon on hard level difficulty, and then start dissecting the stories of mahanadi, million dollar baby, chandni bar, and the likes in the order of increasing mental agony.

To all those who think I am a temple hopping, medieval, traditional freak, let me tell you this-I go to temples that are old, and not crowded; old things always fascinate me(don't let your imagination run wild). They seem to have some charm that is absent in anything that is referred to as 'modern'. Yes, I am a bit of a bore, with a yearning for the good old days when transistor was a device used to listen to cricket commentary and apples were eaten, but I am not averse to technology assisting us. I think there needs to be moderation in anything.(perhaps ogling doesn't need any). also, i may have pontificated enough, so, i will stop imposing my views on one and all.

So, temples, for the sake of preserving my past, and cherishing its beauty and probably, vicariously living my peaceful past self...

Anyway, Madras is beautiful these days. Its becoming increasingly beautiful, and with the advent of monsoon she will be wrapped in all her finest glory(setting aside potholed roads and cholera for a second). So much for absurd imagery and metaphors, screw it, the place looks good during rains. Please don't be offended by my use of the word 'she' here, its a little tacky, but 'it' feels too...itty.(insert some stupid smiley here, and for god's sake boys, don't add a t to the word)

Cheers, and see you all in the next post!