What goes around.

"I have always been fascinated by the law of reversed effort. When you try to stay on the surface of the water, you sink; but when you try to sink, you float...insecurity is the result of trying to be secure...contrariwise, salvation and sanity consist in the most radical recognition that we have no way of saving ourselves."-Alan Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity

you know poonkuzhali,

All the grown ups out there are idiots. For instance, when you ask them if they had planned for things to happen this way, they would tell you that it was indeed the case. How much they underestimate the role of chance, and how much they are overwhelmed by their achievements; nobody cares, and they fail to understand this! When things go out of control, they become helpless, and only when they do go out of control, do they acknowledge their helplessness, a sense of uncomplaining resignation and acceptance. I would never do that. I live in denial. All the time.

When you tell them that the past is beautiful, they will cast a fake, longing glance and get back to looking at their cellphones. Oh yes, unabashed consumerists, not just materialists. I got a new smart  phone, by the way. That's probably why I have not written letters to you in a while. I think writing letters is a waste of time, my lovely little niece. I can spend that time staring at the phone or the computer as opposed to actually recording something on a pen and paper.

I tell them that geetha cafe is a great place, and they laugh! Bah! What kind of people make fun of rava idlis, little one?

There are so many things that I want to do like you:

Care about absolutely nothing. Nobody. Not even your mother, father, siblings, nothing. I think I am halfway there, but nonetheless.

Look at all the things with a sense of wonder. You like the perungayam dabba. I think that's quite fascinating too. Alas, I have taken a liking for the turmeric powder container. 

You eat, sleep, wake up and get attention. Ah, it is not easy, dear girl, not at all. I try that, and when I fail, I just do what you do. Go back to sleep.

You have absolutely no clue as to what the world is, or what anything is. I am trying to unlearn and go back to that. Its a very simple thing to you, this concept of enlightenment!For the old ones out there, its some complicated idea and they go on and on about all this karma and other nonsense. Boring, I know!

I usually go to a particular temple to see an old man rant about his misfortunes. I realized after writing this blog that I was a little like him, and how, every one of us, in our own little ways, are crazy.

Interestingly, talking about madness and beggars, every time I think of you:

மின்னலைப்போல் மேனி! அன்னை சிவகாமி
இன்பமெல்லாம் தருவாள்! எண்ணமெல்லாம் நிறைவாள்
பின்னல்ஜடை போட்டு பித்திப்பூ சூடிடுவாள்
பித்தனுக்கு இணையாக நர்த்தனம் ஆடிடுவாள்
சின்னஞ்சிறு பெண் போலே சிற்றாடை இடையுடுத்தி
சிவகங்கைக் குளத்தருகே ஷிறீ துர்க்கை சிரித்திருப்பாள்!